The great office return

The Great Office Return

Remember the days when companies proudly declared, "Work from home is the future!"? COVID-19 hit, and suddenly the corporate world realized that people could work, innovate, and (shockingly) actually be productive while sitting on their couches in their pajamas. Work was getting done, clients were happy, and productivity was soaring. Yet, in a move so predictable, it’s almost as if it was written into the corporate playbook, companies have decided to drag us back to the office—under the guise of improving collaboration, communication, and teamwork. They claim it’s for "our benefit," but let's be honest: it's all about control.

Apparently, Telecommuting is a Threat to Society

So, the company you’ve been working for remotely for the last few years, delivering results like a well-oiled machine, suddenly decides you need to be back in the office. But here’s the kicker: they don’t just ask. Oh no. They have a whole arsenal of manipulative techniques now. From mandating office days, to "reinvigorating the company culture" with forced "team-building activities" that feel more like adult daycare than professional collaboration, they’re not giving us a choice.

And they spin it like it's for the good of everyone. They’ll say it’s for the “greater good of communication.” Ah yes, because nothing says better communication like forcing people to waste hours commuting just to sit in a room together, staring at each other like a group of strangers in an elevator.

Newsflash: commuting doesn't improve communication—it wastes time and destroys any illusion of work-life balance. But let's keep pretending that your productivity will somehow skyrocket after 2 hours of sitting in traffic each way.

Micromanagement in Disguise

Let’s cut through the corporate jargon and face the truth: the real reason behind all this is micromanagement, wrapped up in a shiny “collaboration” bow. Companies claim it’s about fostering teamwork and improving communication, but we all know that if they really cared about that, they wouldn’t need to put people in a single room to prove it.

The internet, video calls, and Slack exist for a reason, people.

You see, for some reason, management has this irrational belief that the more you see your employees, the more "engaged" they’ll be. Sure, let’s ignore the fact that you can’t force real engagement—people will be just as disengaged in person as they are over Teams, if not more so, especially when they’re distracted by the sounds of microwave pinging, phone ringing, and “Karen” from accounting telling them about her cat’s new favorite toy. But no, let’s pretend a physical presence at the office is the magic elixir for enthusiasm and innovation.

Clients Don’t Care

Here's where things really get interesting. Employees are angry. Let’s be honest—no one wants to go back to a soulless office after enjoying the peace and quiet of working from home. And the clients? Do they care that their team members are all in the same room now? No. They’re just happy that you’re doing the work they pay you for, regardless of whether you’re 20 miles away or 2,000. Hell, most clients have been collaborating with teams across different countries and cities for years. They’re not even in the same time zone, let alone the same office. But somehow, the "remote work is inefficient" argument is being thrown around, as if clients are suddenly going to start demanding that their developers and designers be within a 30-mile radius.

Spoiler: They’re not.

How It Improves "Communication"

So here’s the most ridiculous part of all this: the idea that commuting will somehow improve communication.

Please, spare me.

It’s the kind of logic that would make Dr. House roll his eyes into another dimension. Commuting doesn’t bring people closer—it alienates them. It eats into your day, saps your energy, and leaves you resentful by the time you get to your desk. If anything, commuting makes people less inclined to communicate, because who wants to talk after spending an hour or more in traffic, only to face a full day of unnecessary office distractions?

If you were truly committed to fostering meaningful communication, you wouldn’t force employees into an office. You’d invest in tools and processes that make collaboration seamless, no matter where people are. But no—forcing people to spend their days in an office doesn’t make them communicate better, it just gives you more opportunities to "observe" them and ensure they’re "on task."

Socializing is Not Work

Here’s the real kicker: socializing at work is a "perk" that some companies now treat like a requirement. They’ve rebranded it as "team building," but I’ll be damned if I’m forced to bond with people I don’t want to hang out with in order to check off a "culture" box.

Listen, I’ve got a life outside of work, and I’m not interested in adding more people to my Instagram feed simply because we share an office space. I socialize on my terms, not because my boss mandates it during a "happy hour" that’s more about looking like a good corporate citizen than actually enjoying each other’s company.

And let’s not forget the real reason for this forced socializing: it’s another way to mask micromanagement. The idea is simple: if we can make you socialize, we can control you. But here’s the thing: people aren’t robots. You can’t manufacture connection.

I don’t need to pretend to care about your weekend plans just to prove I’m part of the team.

In conclusion, let’s stop pretending that forcing employees back into the office is anything but an exercise in control. The clients don't care if you're physically there or not. The employees are miserable. And commuting just makes everyone more tired and frustrated. The only thing it truly accomplishes is allowing companies to continue micromanaging and keeping up the illusion of “engagement.”

If you want real results, you need to stop pretending that physical proximity equals productivity. Instead, foster autonomy, invest in tools that support collaboration, and trust your people to do their jobs. Work is about results, not the illusion of presence.

And if you think forcing people back into the office is the way forward, well, enjoy your daily traffic jams. Just don’t expect me to pretend that it’s improving anything other than your control over my time.